So i have been doing many more blogs recently than i had before. not sure what that means, but hey, i like writing what i feel and looking back on it later. it also gets me to focus on the things i really like about life and helps me to appreciate them. so here is another post!
My fiance and i have had quite a crazy relationship. and by crazy, i do not mean like the other guys i have dated who have broke up with me because i am not "pretty enough", because i won't put put or try to scare the crap out of me. the crazy i feel with patrick is totally opposite of all those things. our relationship is crazy because of how much we want to see each other laugh, how he never raises his voice at me, how we both listen to the other so we can really understand how they feel. but most of all it is crazy how much this kid trusts me. utterly insane. if anyone had ever told me a person could trust the way he trusts me and the way i trust him i would say that person is full of tomfoolery and have nothing of it.
but seriously. one of my favorite things about patrick and my relationship with him is that early on we told each other what we could and could not expect from each other and how we wanted to handle those things.
patrick has stayed so true to every word he told me that day and i find it remarkable.
my biggest concern was my best friend (who really, at the time i hardly talked to..but the physical talking isn't what is important, it is the real feelings behind the friendship,eh?). my best friend happens to be a male. and we happen to have a very intensely strong friendship. he has helped me through the roughest times in my life, he has showed me God love for me before i even believed in God and he remains a constant support in my life.
i was terrified that any guy i dated would disapprove of how strongly i hold onto that friendship. but patrick has never even attempted to modify my friendship with james at all. he understands that it is healthy to have more than one "go-to" person, especially with patrick living so far away. and even though james and i get to hang out nearly every day and patrick is in lubbock, patrick still trusts me not to hurt or betray him. he never questions my faithfulness or integrity. beyond that he has expressed how happy he is that i have james in my life to be there for me and be my friend. that is crazy. crazy. crazy. crazy.
patrick and i loved each other from very early on in our relationship (though it took me a great deal of time accepting that lol), but just love on its own is not what got us to this point. Love is what opened the door to patients, kindness, understanding and trust. but undoubtedly you can love someone and lack all of the latter.
i have said it before and i will say many times to come, God has opened up my heart through the people i love and the people that love me. patrick and james both being a couple of those people. i am so blessed to have a best friend that looks out for me to the extent that james does and i am so blessed to have my fiance who allows that friendship to blossom without question. that is crazy love.